As you know we haven’t been updating much. Even when we put time aside to work on this we can’t bring ourselves to do it. I was holding out hope that I could bring myself to continue working on this but I’ve already come to terms that I am no longer into Homestuck as much as I use to be. I know that my partner hasn’t been much into drawing for this blog. (Neither of us is...
Event Announcement; Contract Auction!
We’ve been training our youngest recruit for a while now. You might know him, his name is John Egbert. Here take my business card, you can put your bid on the back with your name and number. If you win, well you can have him however you want. [[This is just a little thing we were planning to do anyway. Throw your idea in our ask box of a creative thing you would like good old John...
Anonymous asked: I was looking at the people I follow and I saw this blog updated a day ago and I squealed with happiness omg please never stop
Jade: Perks of the job.
[[A little something to tide you over. We’re working on some ideas so just hang tight.]] Jade waited the proper amount of time before climbing out of bed fresh from the throws of passion. Well it might have been actually enjoyable if the guy had known what he was doing. But she had learned early on when to fake it and when to enjoy it. There was a reason that man never received any loving...
((Your questions drive this blog. Hello new followers we really appreciate you, like you guys wouldn’t believe. We’re working the kinks out of our new schedules and I think we’re nearly there. Don’t forget though. **Ask us questions** If your a cosplayer, artist, writing, or voice actor and would love to submit content, but you don’t know what to do? Drop us an...
Nepeta Leijon is a regular visitor. She’s taken a personal liking to Equius. And before you report me to the authorities for business with a minor, they know. She comes for tea time and play dates with Equius. Nothing illegal is happening. Unless you consider charging her roughly the cost of a sandwich to get Karkat dressed up as an Imperial Solider abuse of a minor. In which case,...
What about him? Eridan Ampora is second in line to the throne, a huge dick, but he pays. He hasn’t killed anyone, and hasn’t asked me to kill anyone that would be missed. So all and all, don’t put up with him unless there is money involved, or a commoner. Then he’ll make you put up with him.
Equius and Terezi are skilled in those kind of games. However, the charge is extra and any injuries- well you are required to sign a waiver. Bare in mind the safe words are lemonsnout and hoofbeast. Don’t ask why, because I never cared enough to want to know.
And by favorite I hope you mean the one that pays the most. Eridan is second bidder only to Kanaya. He makes sure to book Sollux at least once at week, no other regulars frequent as much as those two.
Captor supplies the manor with the honey. And while he was solely the security staff, he now tends to both when he isn’t… busy. I doubt he’ll pay off the new east wing before he dies. Now come to my office so we can draw up a contract. You’ll be able to see Mister Captor shortly.
yo jade cop a squat in my lap and lets make some birthday dreams come true you should thank me im taking one of the team here happy fucking birthday skeevy, ill make her scream for you since watching is your thing or is it your girlfriends??? since hanky panky with the staff is kind of against the rules this ones on me just walk out the backdoor when youre done watching [[OOC: Sorry if...
Gamzee huh? The Duke’s stoner son. He comes to us for entertainment and relaxation. He’s well accustomed to his old money, but he’s pretty down to earth. He and Dave actually get along rather well for being a client and coordinator relationship. He has free reign of our contracts, but he’s determined to get Tavros to try a puff of his hookah. He hasn’t succeeded...
Things They Say
Sollux: Ladies Ladies, I have like two dicks.
Solllux: One in my pants.... and one in my MIND.
Sollux: Watch your mouth.
[[Keep the questions coming folks! We’re going to hold a special little ‘auction’ here soon when we reach a selected number of followers. So spread the word. And remember. Just because the character isn’t a ‘contract’ doesn’t mean they aren’t in Questionable Business somewhere. So if you’re curious about your favorite homestuck,...
If you really have to know THIS is the ‘sexiest’ outfit. Why? Because I fucking say so. Not being very gentleman am I? Well too bad, you get this instead of murder, I’m too lazy today to hide the body.
Well, if you have to know. Karkat is an angry little monkey. He’s pretty fucking average if that’s your thing. He’s inconsiderate and not as experienced as the others. Sollux is by far our most experienced contract for physical pleasure. He knows exactly how to work what he’s got for any kind of woman or man. John’s a mystery, pay me enough and you’ll...
The Heiress of the Crocker family is a frequent client of ours. Due to my disclosure agreement I can’t tell you more than that. But we did host her debutante ball a few years back. You probably saw it, but more than likely weren’t invited.
Pt 2. Men
Tavros here is a pretty lively guy. He’s into dressing up if you are. He’s legal, a year into if you must know, but don’t worry he’s perfectly able to satisfy the ladies. No patrons from the Alternia borders allowed, and no you can’t offer me enough to make you allowed. John is our newest purchase so I can’t really tell you much about his kinks. He’s...
Pt 1. Ladies
Jade is one of our younger contract at nineteen, perfectly legal. You want her to dress up as your little sister, fine. She’s pretty good at playing an animal too, if you catch my drift. She has also been knowing to play wife if you need one for a function or beat you and make you call her mommy, but I have to charge you extra for that. My dear cousin Rose, we won’t get into how...
[[Hello all you new followers! We’re a bit stunned and happy to have you! We have two more questions left before we’re out material. Drop by the ask box! We will answer them, just give us time to draw we’re tag teaming now. You can even ask for a contract match up]]
I’m afraid I have no control of Kanaya. She is one of our frequent customers. I can ask her if she would like to speak with you if you like? Let me see if I can get Rose to spare her for a moment. Oh, I See. Mister Strider Said I Had Company. You Would Like Me To What? Oh Fantastic. I Thought Rose Was The Only One Who Indulged Me In My Biting Fetish. Don’t Worry I’m...
[[Working on some big/cast questions! The ask box is still open and we are still taking questions! Lay them on us!]]
The Strider Manor is a family business. I inherited it from my father, David, whom my brother was named after. Dave has his hands in some of the stocks, but he mostly manages the musical side of our events. Our newest contract, John, was his purchase. I don’t approve, but I will help him train him. He has to learn the family business after all. What we don’t manage, our house...
Cute and cuddly. Hm. We have a new contract you can take for a spin if you like. John, find Rose, I believe she’s with that vampiric fashion designer. Get them to put you into something casual. Now here’s your legal contract for the night. You can take him out on a date or to the movies. I really don’t care, what you do with him is up to you. However I’m entrusting him in your care as a...
I open our suggestion box and this is the bullshit I receive? I have better things to do with my time. Terezi, darling, can you answer this pathetic attempt at trolling?
[[We’re very flattered with the questions. Thank you all we’ll keep the ask box open for now. We’re aiming to just have a queue to work through as well as slip in a little story here and there. We’ve already gotten some fan-art, which you all will love! And we’re going to start the process of answering questions tomorrow. Thank you all for an excellent first...