Well, if you have to know.

Karkat is an angry little monkey. He’s pretty fucking average if that’s your thing. He’s inconsiderate and not as experienced as the others.

Sollux is by far our most experienced contract for physical pleasure. He knows exactly how to work what he’s got for any kind of woman or man.

John’s a mystery, pay me enough and you’ll find out exactly what kind of lover he is.

Tavros is an Endurance lover. Passionate, well hung and can go the distance.

And Equius manages my Horse stables.

Do I really need to say more about him?

Now who are you buying. Because you aren’t leaving until you’ve emptied your pockets and soiled your undies.